So what’s this all about?

I’ve always loved writing. And I’ve always been fascinated with the question of what makes great life.

When I was younger (much younger - ahem!) this led me on a life of enquiry that included self-help, personal development, New Age spirituality, western spiritual traditions, religion, science, martial arts, and reading. Lots of reading. I wouldn’t say I was an expert in any of these things but I was always deeply interested in the same question - what makes a great life?

Looking back I think I was asking the wrong question in many ways. Or at least trying to answer it in the wrong way. I was convinced that ‘an answer’ existed. That somewhere out in the wide world, there was some sort of magic formula that if i could just find it, then my question would be answered and somehow I’d be happy.

At some point, this quest became less pressing. Or more accurately, my focus shifted. I got a good corporate job. I started my management and leadership career. I bought a house, met my wife, had kids, settled down. You know, the usual playbook for a white, middle class male.

I hadn’t made millions, but I was living a comfortable life and things seemed to be good.

The question, ‘what makes a great life?’ seemed to be answered. Turned out, it was what society had been saying all along.

Only, it wasn’t.

As I got older, I grew increasingly unhappy. Which was difficult because it made no sense. I had a great job, a loving wife and family, my health, and enough to get by. It felt like the height of ingratitude to admit that I was feeling unfulfilled, increasingly stressed, and with no clear way of how to change.

This culminated in what turns out is a more and more common occurrence: I burned out. I became depressed, and the things that I valued the most - my family and my health - both began to suffer.

But change came hard. For the longest time I thought about doing something different but I struggled to even imagine what that looked like. Deeply embedded fears and beliefs about financial insecurity, self-worth, confidence in my abilities and more surfaced every time I thought about leaving my safe corporate life and doing something else.

So I trudged along, hoping for change, but unwilling to take action to achieve it for fear of all the catastrophes I thought that would bring.

Clearly, change did come, and it came about because of a mix of some fantastic people, and a return to my original question, ‘what makes a great life?’. Only now my approach to the question had shifted. I realised that for me at least, it wasn’t an end destination. Great life: achieved! Tick! Nope. I came to realise that my great life was to be found in how I lived it, day by day. It was the process of living that made the difference, not the goals I achieved.

And I’m still in that process. Of course I am - I’m still here, alive on this planet. When I die, I’ll be done.

I definitely don’t have all the answers, and I’m not sure anyone does. And I’m definitely not always right and continue to make mistakes on a daily basis. But I do feel I’ve learned some things that when I apply them (as best as I’m able, because I slip on that too) then my life is better.

For me, it boils down to the question itself - what makes a great life? It’s not about the answer - although like I said, I’ve definitely learned some stuff that makes a difference in my life. Instead, constantly asking that of myself, every day, is what has led to the discoveries and changes that have made a real difference.

So that’s what this blog and website is all about. Sharing what I’ve learned. Hearing from you what you’ve learned. And together finding ways that make our lives great.